Pregnancy and Type 1: Am I Crazy?!

I had an Endocrinologist appointment a few weeks ago.  It’s very easy (for me anyway) to get stressed out before Endo appointments, especially when you get blood work done beforehand.  I have been working so hard on my A1c, and I was hoping it was down from my last appointment.

I always try my best to have a good A1c, but this time I had a different motive…a baby!

My appointment

So, overall, my doctor was impressed.  My A1c dropped from a 6.7 to a 6.5, and all my blood work looked pretty good. Well, aside from my high cholesterol, which I have had forever.  My kidneys are doing great too, which is something I always worry about.  I’m a huge worrier, can you tell?!

I planned on asking my doctor about having another baby.  She knew from my previous appointments that I wanted to, since I asked her about 100 questions related to pregnancy!  I was a little worried about bringing it up, so I waited until last minute. Ha!

Her exact words were, “Go for it!  Everything looks great, and you have an awesome A1c!”  Yes!  I was so excited after hearing that.  It looks like all my hard work is paying off.

I left the office on cloud 9 and I was so excited to tell my husband all about my appointment!

Am I crazy?!

After my doctor’s appointment, I was in baby mode.  I ordered a book about Type 1 and pregnancy, and I have been researching (in my typical fashion) about all things baby.

Then, one night I was reading my pregnancy book, and all of a sudden I started getting chest pains and it became hard to breathe.  Great.  It was the start of a panic attack.  All of a sudden, I thought, what am I doing?!

I gave birth to my son in 2013, so it’s been a while since I was pregnant.  The pregnancy itself wasn’t TOO difficult, but my blood sugars were a different story.  It’s almost like I forgot how hard it was being pregnant with Type 1, in the midst of my excitement.  So, in that moment, I started to panic.  Ever since then, I have been having mixed feelings about getting pregnant a second time.  I’m not going to lie, I’m scared!

Don’t get me wrong, my son was worth EVERYTHING that I went through.  I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.  But, part of me thinks I’m crazy for wanting to do it all again a second time!

It’s times like these where I absolutely despise Type 1.  If it wasn’t for Type 1, I wouldn’t be having these thoughts. Part of me thinks that I just got lucky the first time around.  My son was born completely healthy at 37 weeks.  But, could I do all that again with the same result?!  Please excuse me, while I go freak out.

Just breathe…

For whatever reason, my brain likes to think of the worst case scenario first.  Why?  I wish I knew!  There is nothing easy about a Type 1 pregnancy, BUT, it is worth it.  I look at my son sometimes, and think about how lucky I am to be his mom.  Despite having Type 1 Diabetes, I gave birth to an amazing little boy.  I don’t give myself enough credit! Can I do this all again a second time?  Absolutely.  Will it be hard?  Yes.  Will it be worth it?  Without a doubt.

So, I am trying to get all the what ifs out of my head, because they don’t do any good.  They will just drive me nuts. I’m doing everything I can to prepare for a healthy pregnancy, and that’s all I can do!  I need to be more confident in my ability to handle Diabetes while pregnant, and do what needs to be done.  Besides, I did it once already, right?

During my pregnancy with my son, I was on injections.  I was put on NPH insulin (which sucked by the way) and Novolog.  I didn’t have a CGM either, so I tested my blood sugar about 20 times per day!  It was rough.  At least this time around I have an insulin pump AND a Dexcom.  That makes me feel better too.

Pregnancy is definitely hard without a working pancreas, but I’m ready for the challenge…I think! 😉

 

 

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hopeloveinsulin

2 COMMENTS

  1. theinsulintype | 29th Jun 17

    You’ve got this mamma!

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